HOW WE SURVIVED OUR LOW BUDGET GHANAIAN ENGAGEMENT

Well let me say for a fact that, marrying in Ghana is extremely EXPENSIVE. How do I even start this?

Let me start off by saying a huge thank you to God for seeing us through it all.
My second heart felt thanks to my sweet sisters(Mavis, Rita and Linda who also hosted us in Ghana) and brothers(Kweku, Frank and Isaac who also hand made all my Ghanaian beads) for always being there for me.
The third charm thanks goes to my food mentor, friend, confidant, trusted buddy, Fiona Koranteng.
Fourthly, to my step father who has the calm of a whale and by so helping me stay calm through out the stressful periods.
Fifth and last to my paternal family and maternal family for making time, under so short a notice, to grace our traditional marriage.

 Okay, in order not point fingers at anyone/institution/social media craze for how expensive our marriage process has become; I will tell you about how we survived our 'affordale' engagement (Ghanaian  traditional marriage) as brief as possible.

We arrived safely in Ghana for our three weeks holiday. We planned to have our engagement on the weekend of the first week so it was straight to work. We found a great tailor and seamstress (with the help of my instagram sister Oriel) after the ones we talked to before coming to Ghana disappointed us. Within two days of contacting them, they took our measurements and delivered on time, not to mention how affordable they charged us.

Next on our list was getting my engagement gifts to give at the ceremony. I will share the dilemma behind this some other day. My Finnish husband and honestly myself did not understand why everyone wanted us to gift out cheap plastic bowls or cups that will eventually find their ways into worsening Ghana`s huge plastic pollution. We stood our grounds and gave out beautiful made in Ghana clay/ceramic bowls with some Finnish hand made pot holders and bamboo salad/cooking spoons. We are happy we helped promote our local utensils in our small way.

For our catering, we had the help of my maternal family member who gave us good budget (details later).
Next was getting a location for our engagement. One of my paternal family member offered us his beautiful home and it was huge relief. We hired some some chairs and tables ready for the day. Now here`s the deal; why do people think they have a say in every detail of a couples plan without helping out any how? We planned to have simple chairs for the ceremony, nope, they say you must have folded chairs. Yet they know themselves its cost more and yet serves the same purpose for sitting right. Well we did not want to stress, so folded chairs we hired.

 Now it looks like we have everything ready for the engagement, right!?. The Grace of God blessed us with an amazing make up team and photography team. I had contacted them prior our trip to Ghana and told them on how we would love to have a low key ceremony. I must confess, they blew my mind with their services and here's the surprise; they came FREE. Yes, FREE. They humbly requested for transport fees for their equipment and showered me with their love. Get yourself AMAZING FRIENDS LIKE AKUA of nukabite and KWADWO of Kwadsphotograhy. We are humbled by your friendship and I say big thank you again.

Now lets get married. Morning of our engagement, chairs and tables are being set, the living room where the ceremony will be hosted is being cleaned, engagement gifts are being packed into cotton bags(I vehemently refused to have plastics flying around on our day), drinks being packed cold etc. It looks like we having a great day, so far, until, after my make up was done and my paternal family summoned me. On the morning of our engagement, they summoned me with a new list. Yep, the list the paternal family(normally the father,in my case father is dead) gives the groom who seeks the hand of their daughter in marriage. But wait, I take a look at the list and I turned blue. I looked around the room in despair and asked why the amount on the list has increased hugely compared to the list they gave us when we called a month ago to inquire from them.

 I told them we were given a much 'sensible' list a month ago by them, since they all AGREED that I HAVE BEEN LIVING AND IS MARRIED BY LAW ALREADY to my husband. They reduced the amounts on the new list and with no remorse they said that's IT. We took the list and my husband to be twice, was fuming. Hubby was not fuming because of the money. No, he was angry, no, ´we´ were both angry because, when he called a month ago, the principles behind the old list seemed to have changed after they saw him. No need for speculations, but hey, an European man does not automatically equals a rich man.
Not now, not after all the stress. We survived the list and the engagement took place thankfully to God.



So now we eat and everyone goes home. It took two hours for the food to arrive. Children where hot and cranky, guests were getting impatient. That is 'Ghana time' at work. Eventually food arrives, my babies could not eat much(spicy), hubby enjoyed his fufuo and I did also. Now lets go home. This is how briefly we got our traditional marriage done. Running around in the heat and traffics of Accra was not an easy deal. But this is for sure, should we have waited to get married in two weeks, believe me our budget would have been doubled. We had to be strict with our decisions and listened carefully to all advises but heeded to selected advises.

Our guest list was 60. We invited family closer to my late parents and did not want any ´party´. Its a marriage ceremony where families sit to advice the couples. Let not be blinded by modern day craze. Personally, I feel humbled for the love shown us and look beyond all the family drama.
I hope this sheds light on how to have a minimal engagement. If you have family and friends who are willing to spend and make your day big, then in no way stop them. If you, the couples can afford big engagement, please do so. But if you find yourself like me student mom, then listen to your future husband and stay within HIS budget. At the end of the engagement, its just the two of you to pay the bills.

AND FOR THE RECORD, GHANAIAN ENGAGEMENT IS MARRIAGE. IT IS THE UNION OF TWO PEOPLE BACKED UP BY FAMILIES. IT IS ENOUGH TO GET ENGAGED IN GHANA. YOU ARE BOTH OFFICIALLY MARRIED. Getting married in court or town house is done to protect financial assets. Getting married in church affirms our religion. In any kind of marriage, it is up to the couple to allow God in and protect their assets by making wills. The choice should be made by the couple and not the family, community or social media trends.
I hope you had a good read and send in any questions concerning getting traditionally married in Ghana.